Dorks Being Dorks
by Sunken Stars
Summary: A collection of one shots and drabbles for Lancaster, also known as the cutest pairing in the entire world. Seriously. No contest.
1. Chapter 1

If there was ever anything Ruby truly dreaded, it was her period. There was just some things she hated with a passion and that was one of those things for sure. But then again, what person that could menstruate didn't hate it?

One of the things that she dreaded the most about the cursed time was the cravings. They were all over the place, and her stomach almost never agreed with her choices. Usually it was cookies. Sweet stuff was in abundance around her dorm so she didn't really mind it so much when she did crave something sweet.

However, if there was one sweet thing that was hard to come by at Beacon, it was the sweet confectionary delight known as doughnuts. Alas, the sweet, fluffy, perfectly round bits of heaven were nowhere to be found unless she went into Vale. And this was assuming she had the money to even buy some.

Thankfully, Ruby had someone special to her. Someone near and dear to her heart that she knew she could count on for anything and everything. Someone who had come through for her when she had been craving much stranger things, and fortunately had no problem buying the necessary supplies to help her period pass by as smoothly as possible.

Her boyfriend.

Ruby jumped up happily as she heard the Knocks on her dorm's door, and she nearly tripped as she could swear she already smelled the delicious things he was bringing with him. She threw the door open and all but ripped his arm off as she pulled him in. He let out a somewhat girlish Yelp as she hugged him closely.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" she cheered out as she pulled away and grabbed the box of donuts out of his hands. She laid it down on her desk and threw it open, much like the door, grabbing a random doughnut and shoving it into her mouth.

"You want to slow down there?" asked Jaune, opening a bottle of milk and setting it down on the desk beside the doughnuts. Ruby sent him a glare that basically meant 'shut up' and he did so without hesitation, reaching in and grabbing a doughnut for himself. Ruby stopped wolfing down her own and reached for the milk, taking a big, exaggerated gulp and making the most satisfied face and sound as she swallowed it all down.

"You have no idea how much I love you, right now…" she said quietly, grabbing another doughnut and sitting down in the chair in front of the desk. Though less exaggerated and ravenous now, it was still clear to Jaune that she was enjoying the doughnut just as much as she did the first one. He took a small sip of the milk and just took a second to appreciate the smile on her face as she finished off her second.

"I think I can guess," he said with mirth. "I'm guessing you would have died if I hadn't of been in Vale, right?"

"YES, oh my god, yes. Jaune you're a freaking lifesaver." She giggled happily, and Jaune hoped to be able to always hear that exact sound. "Thank you so much… I love you!" Jaune could practically hear the hearts flying up in the air as she said it.

"I love you too, Ruby!"


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Thanks all for the incredibly early, but amazing amount of followers. When I first started writing for RWBY, Lancaster was a much smaller ship, and in some ways it still is. But I think I speak for all us Lancaster shippers, and even the person who came up with the ship name (who I've had the incredible pleasure of talking to), when I say we're super happy it seems to be growing as much as it is! I sincerely hope you enjoy all the cute to come in this collection!

This one I'll admit is a bit different, but I really like it and I hope you do too. This is is basically an AU where RNJR just kind of stays a thing and travels around helping people, assuming they're just going to be a temporary thing in the show.

* * *

Mornings were always kind of hard for Ruby, mostly because she didn't like waking up. Her dreams were so interesting and fun. She disliked it even more so after the events that pushed her and the remaining members of JNPR onto their own path. This morning was going to prove no different, and she sluggishly moved the tiniest bit, hoping to wake her body up with her mind. She let out the smallest whine of annoyance as she opened her eyes and remembered exactly where she was.

She wasn't on Patch, or even in Vale. She wasn't at Beacon, or anywhere even close. She was in an inn. An inn in the middle of nowhere, and the bed had been so uncomfortable compared to the beds she had been used to sleeping in. She tried to sit up, but someone immediately pulled her down. Jaune's familiar arms comfortingly snaked around her and she felt him kiss her neck. She shivered slightly at the sensation, and couldn't help but smile.

Two years, that's how long they've been on their own with Ren and Nora. That's how long they've been used to this life. It wasn't all bad, though it had its fair share of both ups and downs. The relationship that formed between her and Jaune was definitely one of the ups.

"Jaune, we really should get up, we have a lot of walking to do today..." Jaune felt like their journey to Atlas could wait. Weiss could wait. Sure she called them up, and sure it would be great to see her again, but it was such a nice morning. And he couldn't honestly remember when Ruby looked so beautiful.

Wait, he thought, she always looks this beautiful. "Can't we just lay here for a little bit longer?" he begged, and Ruby gave a pout. Wasn't he supposed to be the one helping her wake up? Now she had to deal with him being the sleepyhead. "I don't wanna head off yet, we've been walking for like a week straight."

"Weren't you the one who suggested walking would be good for us?"

"Don't remind me, I'll start hating myself again." She laughed and pushed at him lightly. "But seriously, just twenty more minutes. Besides, I'm sure Nora and Ren would be happy with that decision too." He started looking into her eyes, and she knew there was no freaking way she was going to be able to refuse. Especially when he started kissing her neck again.

"Alright, but just twenty more minutes." He smiled, and she was suddenly really happy about those twenty minutes as well.


	3. Chapter 3

The cold wind continued to blow fierce and wild against the window pane, telling all that winter was still raging on. Ruby sat curled up in various blankets, staring at the screen of their TV with mild disinterest. Winters were always cold and dark for her. When she was younger she would always go outside and play in the snow, but now she supposed she was too old to do that.

Jaune walked into the room with two steaming hot mugs of hot chocolate, and Ruby smelled it immediately. "Jaune?"

"You can't just stare at old sitcom re-runs all day. You're going to have to smile eventually." Ruby frowned as he handed her a mug. He just knew there was a but coming.

"But," and there it was, "I'm so booooored, what is there to do?" He took a seat next to her, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her as close as possible as he took a sip of his drink. "I mean… I remember when we used to go have snowball fights, but now it's just too cold. So either I'm too old for it, or I've done it too many times."

"Well if we're going to stay inside we might as well make the most of it. Come here." Jaune grabbed her by the hand and helped her up, leading her over to the window nook. It was a simple little area, one they hardly ever made use of. It was a bookshelf underneath a window that was cushioned on the top, providing a seat for comfortable reading. The nook was curtained, allowing anyone to draw the curtains closed for privacy. "What do you say we make a fort, for old time's sake?" It had been quite a few years. They weren't that old, but being married and carrying a child inside of you sure made you feel like it.

She smiled as Jaune grabbed the blankets from off the floor where Ruby sat just a few moments ago, and placed them inside the nook along with a few pillows. He extended his hand once they were all laid out, and Ruby giggled, feeling like a queen for the first time since he proposed to her. "After you, fair lady." She gladly took his hand and crawled into the nook. She settled down immediately and pat the area next to her, taking a drink of her hot cocoa and setting it down on the windowsill.

"Well what are you waiting for my brave and handsome knight?" Jaune crawled in after her and kissed her gently upon the lips, drawing shut the curtains behind them, effectively blocking out all light except the light coming in from the window. He sat his his drink next to hers, and they curled up next to one another as Ruby laid her head down on his shoulder. "I'm so glad we decided to settle down. This way I can be sure that we give her the childhood she deserves…" She kissed Jaune again, pulling him as close as possible. "I feel like I have duty to remain as safe as possible for her, you know?"

"It's only natural. You want to provide her with the childhood you never had…"

"Our little rose is gonna have the perfect life, the life she wants."

"No matter what." Ruby pushed her head into his shoulder. "Have you thought of a name yet?"

"I'm still stuck between Summer, and Prim…"

"Prim Rose, huh? I like that."

"It's so hard to choose…"

"Who says we can only have one?" Ruby smiled an even bigger smile.

"I always did want two."

"Sounds like a plan." Ruby watched the snowfall, no longer bored, but content. She pulled one of the blankets over them, and closed her eyes. She couldn't remember a time that she felt more comfortable.

* * *

Author's Notes: Don't ask me why she didn't take his last name idk. I just really like Rose as a last name, and I'm gonna cry and scream before somebody takes it away from her.


	4. Bad Dream

The walls themselves seemed to thrum and vibrate with the urgency of his situation, each of the four beat as if they were alive - as if they had hearts. He could hear the steady rhythm mocking him, reminding him of what he had to lose. He turned, and every which way he looked there was a dead end.

Laughing, dreadfully loud laughing full of grim joyousness and murderous glee, filled the space surrounding him. There wasn't a safe place to hide away from the noise.

He tried to scream but nothing came out, he tried to run but it was all just brick walls, he tried to claw his way out but his fingers only sank into the solid material and got stuck inside.

"H-help! Please! No, no, no!" He cried for help. He cried out for someone, anyone. But mostly he cried out for her.

The entire world around him seemed to give way as the walls turned, and twisted into shadows most fierce. They grew mouths full of sharp teeth, limbs pointed with sharp claws. They grew into his own doubts, his own insecurities.

"She doesn't love you, how could she ever have fallen for you," a dark voice said."You think she's telling the truth? She doesn't want you. She wants someone else." The voice was high pitched, whining, like metal against a chalkboard. "You'll be left behind, she'll never talk to you again! You're not worth her affection!"

"They're right you know," chimed in another voice, this one low and silken, as smooth and as deep as can be, yet distorted, as if heard from underwater. "She doesn't think highly of you. She thinks you're destined to fail. And I know what you're thinking, you fool. Even if you fail she'll stick by your side, right? Wrong. You'd only drag her down, destroy her chance at her dream. Don't be stupid."

One by one more voices popped in, and one by one they all had their say. They laughed, they chirped maddeningly, ravenously. Each one had their fill of his psyche.

Suddenly he fell through the wall his hands were stuck in, and he woke up.

He felt her hands on him immediately, and he didn't protest, for he knew it was her. She whispered into his ear, and he calmed his breathing. His heart was still beating wildly, but she calmly massages his shoulders from beside him.

"Shh, shh, it's alright Jaune. It's alright," Ruby said, pulling him in close for another hug. He accepted it and swallowed hard as he felt the blanket get thrown off of the both of them.

His eyes adjusted to the dark, and he realized they were in her dorm. The rest of her team was nowhere to be found, and he remembered winter break, and how they chose to stay just for some alone time.

He remembered what they did, the feeling of her skin against his, the sound of her voice calling his name; the sound of his calling hers. He remembered it all and his face flushed as he felt the cool air blow against his exposed flesh.

She hopped off the bed and turned to face him as he opened his mouth to speak. "Hold that thought," she said, "I'm going to get you something that might help okay?"

He closed his mouth and nodded with a smile. The look in her eyes, the worry in her expression; despite what his dream had said, she cared. A lot.

He laid down and looked to the ceiling, taking a deep breath before looking back to her and watching her wrap her naked form up in one of Weiss' bathrobes. She left the room and he took the small moment to gather his thoughts and jumped down to the floor, sitting on Weiss' bed.

Upon her return, he was a lot more steady, and when she placed a hand upon his chest, and upon his head, she smiled in relief.

"I'm not going to ask what it was about, I know you'd rather not think about it. From experience. You probably can't even remember it, but... Here." She handed him a mug of hot chocolate. "I was going to get some sleeping pills, but then I saw the time," she said sheepishly.

Jaune looked to the clock on the bedside table and laughed. It was already seven o'clock in the morning. The winter sun was as late as ever.

Ruby sat beside him, shedding the robe and laying her head on his shoulder as he sipped the warm drink graciously. Her arms wrapped around him, and he felt her kiss at his skin.

"You were crying," she said, her fingers tracing invisible patterns.

"Yeah, I was. But that's okay," he replied, setting the mug aside and pulling her on his lap.

"Why is that okay?" She asked, confused, as his fingers entwined with hers and he wiped a strand of hair out of her face.

"Because they were wrong..." The look of confusion on her face quickly disappeared and was replaced with a look of passion and want as his lips pressed against hers. His free hand moves about her body in ways that made her feel electric.

She sighed in pleasure before getting up and leading him back up to her bunk.


	5. Chapter 5

Ruby stood there in the doorway with a smile of innocence upon her face, the moonlight lighting the room only seeming to make her features even more attractive in a sense that was purely indescribable.

Jaune stood from his seat, gazing at her with eyes full of admiration. He was studying her as one would a painting; Looking for not only the beauty but the imperfections that leant to said beauty.

She shyly turned her head, her heart beating fast with every second his eyes remained stuck to her form. He was reading her like poetry, with love and passion. It was almost embarrassing, but it felt encouraging to her, lovely even.

It didn't help that she was wearing such a thin nightgown to cover herself. She wore nothing underneath and she knew that soon she wouldn't even be covered. She would be exposed.

She briefly amused herself with cliche thoughts of Roses blooming as she tentatively took a small step forward, moving closer to Jaune. All the while, he still had his eyes glued to her.

He couldn't help it, after all she had never looked more beautiful.

Their relationship had came a long way since the beginning, and though this was a big step, and would indeed lead to a climax in a sense, it wasn't _the_ climax. And that thought alone spurred Ruby onward.

With sensibility and grace that would have been more at home in someone else, she approached him, her hands fidgeting restlessly in a show of nervousness that she wouldn't allow the rest of her body to express. She didn't want him to think her silly, it wasn't like she was having second thoughts.

It was, however, a bit intimidating. And seeing his stiff movements helped ease her fears as she finally moved to take his hands in hers.

They latched together tightly, and finally their anxiety about the moment came to the front lines. The both of them gave a small squeeze and took a deep breath.

His hands moved to her sides, and hers to his shoulders. It was in this position that Ruby found comfort. It was a normal position for them. They danced often, and it wasn't so different from their positions then. They often kissed in this position as well.

As if the familiarity of the position was guiding them forward, they kissed softly, daring not to go any further just yet and deciding that they quite liked the pace so far.

Jaune's fingers glided along the soft cloth of Ruby's nightgown, bringing shivers up her spine. He put a hand down to her waist and pulled her closer, sinking down into the kiss. She let out a soft moan, and he felt that was his cue to move on. Almost gingerly he picked her up and cradled her in his arms bridal style, placing her gently on the bed and crawling atop her.

By now her entire face was flushed and his was much the same, both inexperienced in the more intricate levels of intimacy. But they pushed on courageously, and she gasped out as his hands hitched up her nightgown.

Wordlessly her eyes bade him to continue, almost eagerly. He found his hands moving ever upward, revealing inch after inch of her skin. It was almost too good to be true, he felt. She was so stunningly perfect to him, and as soon as her nightgown rose above her waist she expected him to stop and look but he didn't, he just kept on removing it slowly.

When he finally reached her stomach he paused, moving down to kiss it softly. She felt her insides flutter, and a feeling similar to a crush stirred her from the inside. It almost made her feel giddy. She wanted to laugh but held it in.

He smiled, as if sensing her desire, and kissed upward along with the removal of her gown. She bit her lip harder with each kiss, a sigh making it's way out of her chest with a satisfaction she had long since longed for filling the emptiness she never even knew was there.

She had always wanted to be desired like this, she had always wanted to be treated in this manner; and yet she never even knew.

He carefully raised her arms up, pulling the gown off entirely.

She laid bare, her chest rising and falling with each and every pant and sigh. The moonlight streamed across her, casting a few magical rays across her as it caught the wooden frame in between the glass of the window.

She was sweating, glimmering in what little light was being offered to them. But he was only focused on her eyes. Her beautiful, stunning silver eyes. She was silently begging for him to continue, and he was gladly going to do so.

He started to grace her flesh with even more kisses, but along with this he moved his hands to massage her, touching, feeling, worshiping.

The Baudelaire-esque feel of the moment was absolutely enrapturing, and Ruby felt like they were making _art_ as well as love. It was a special kind of feeling, and her mind was alive with visions of angels in black and white; images of heaven, pure and beautiful. The patterns he traced into her skin were intricate, detailed: Like a Doré.

And then she felt it. And her body, singing and alive and pulsing with electricity gave way to a sound of pleasure.

It had been built up perfectly, and his rhythm, though ametuer and undoubtedly off, was fantastic and thrilling. No matter how hard she wished to be able to, she couldn't keep her mind straight to enjoy it.

Just as always, when she began to feel the effects of pleasure taking over, her mind went into a haze, and her panting rose to a fever pitch along with his.

A few broken and unintelligible whispers sounded out, and with a blinding flash it was all over, their bodies falling limp into the aftermath of something beautiful.

They laid for a few moments, enjoying the silence and closeness and the sound of breathing, before shifting slightly into a more comfortable position.

Ruby, pushing her head into Jaune's chest as his arms wrapped around her protectively.

They knew no words needed be said, and drifted off quite happily to sleep. Tomorrow was the beginning of a new era in their relationship.


	6. First Kiss

Author's Notes: You know, for a collection called Dorks Being Dorks, there sure is a lack of the dorks being... well, dorks. I'll be sure to change that, should I write more anytime soon. This came out of a one-word prompt provided to me by my good friend Anonymous Prick 3, who has written some good RWBY related content. If you're hungry for some FANTASTICALLY written Lancaster, go read his story: A Fool's Date if you haven't already.

* * *

How could Ruby have forgotten? How could she have made such an error? She covered her face, her heart still hammering away like a jackhammer from the scare that Jaune had given her. She had been caught in the act, she had been caught red-handed and totally humiliated. There was no way she would ever be able to live this down, and she knew it.

Her lips had been puckered. Puckered for christ's sake! The dummy had just barely resembled him, but she knew he got the gist of it. She had given it a blond, messy wig, after all. And if that weren't all, she had spoken to the bloody thing, trying to hype herself up and pretend like it was actually him.

She fiddled around with her fingers, pulling her hood over her face as tightly as possible. "It's not what it looks like, I swear!" she yelled, her hands curling up into tight fists. Of course, it was exactly what it looked like and she knew he wasn't stupid. But what else was she supposed to say to him? She was practically devouring the wooden model's face, and he had seen it.

She could hear him trying to hold it back, the laughter building inside of him, waiting to be released into the world in all its jovial glory. She always loved the sound of his laugh, it was cute, high pitched, and when he really lost it he would sort of do that silent seal thing and clap a little. She always loved the chance to see him happy. But not now. Because for once he wasn't laughing _with_ her, he was laughing _at_ her.

It wounded her, to say the least. That he would be so rude. Isn't it normal for a girl as unsure about things as she to practice kissing her crush? After all, he can hardly expect her to be an expert at it. She felt her cheeks flare up even worse than before as his laughter finally escaped. " _Jaune!"_ she whined.

After several seconds he finally calmed down. Ruby stood stock still, her entire body tense and her face as red as her cloak. When she finally worked up the courage to look up, she found she didn't even have to. His hand found her chin, and he lifted her head up softly, as gently as he possibly could. And now she was blushing for another reason.

The mirth in his eyes was still there, the joy, the happiness, whatever word you wanted to use for it. It was there and it was beautiful to her.

"Ruby, you could have just asked if you wanted to kiss me. You think I could say no to you?" Jaune said, leaning forward and capturing her lips.

This one was different, Ruby noted. It was a lot more practiced and less frantic than what she was doing with the dummy. She felt calm. Totally at ease as the sweet smell of his fruity shampoo eased her into bliss. It was the scent she had come to associate with him. And now it was the scent she would forever associate with her first kiss.

They said nothing as they pulled away from one another, and Ruby reached behind her with her foot, knocking over the dummy that she had worked so hard to construct last night.

"Let's just remember the first kiss and not the events leading up to said first kiss, okay?" she asked playfully, giggling nervously, her hands traveling up to his shoulder and grabbing at his hoodie.

"What, don't you want a funny story to tell the kids one day?" Jaune smirked. It had the exact desired effect.

Ruby looked down to the ground and smiled widely, trying to hide her giddiness. She wasn't doing it very well, however, as Jaune noticed every small movement. Every twitch of a muscle, every tiny lip bite, and lick.

"K-kids? Oh, that's uh, I mean, relationship? I mean, do you? Want to be my relation- boyfriend! Do you want to be my boyfriend?!" Ruby finally choked out, laughing more nervously than she ever had before.

"Well, I was under the assumption that that kiss was an overwhelmingly large sign that yes, I do want to be your boyfriend," he chuckled, scratching the back of his head. Something about seeing Ruby in such an embarrassed and emotionally compromised state just seemed to fill him with a confidence he wouldn't normally have had.

She could only nod her head, pressing into him and laying her head against his chest. It was all she could do to stop herself from spewing out even more horribly mangled words and phrases.

They just stood there, Jaune's arms around her, until she could finally get out something that made sense.

"You're a jerk," she laughed into his chest.

"Yes, but now I'm _your_ jerk."


End file.
